Recently we spoke with Karyn Battersby who is a Human Behaviour Specialist, regarding one of our favourite topics – self love. So many people think they know what it means, but as is so often the case, it’s much bigger than you realise!
Karyn and I met quite a few years ago at a business event and she has also been a personal councillor for me during certain periods of my life and I honestly believe there is no one greater to talk about the topic of self love then Karyn.
So what is self love?... And how do we know if we are achieving it in our life?! "Self love isn’t just running a bath, going to a spa, a glass of wine. In actual fact, self love encompasses everything from our boundaries to who we allow into our lives, and knowing who we are, the good and bad and accepting, embracing and loving all of it”. Karyn Battersby.
Self love means learning to look into the parts of ourselves, including the parts we are not so fond of, and is incredibly important self-awareness work. As humans, we tend to want to hide the parts of ourselves that we might feel a bit of shame about, and particularly any guilt or embarrassment. We tend to keep it hidden very much from the rest of the world and it is really only our intimate partners or closest that might see it. And even then, we may hide it from those closest to us for fear of being unlovable.
“Our instinct, our natural response, is to try and hide our darker side, because we think it is unlovable. But what we are doing is orphaning that side of ourselves. Self love is the act of bringing that side in and loving it as well. You need to embrace it, acknowledge it, then you can work on it. That is self love”. Karyn Battersby.
You might be familiar with catch phrases like “do the work”, “love yourself”, but what do they actually mean? And how do you even “do the work”? Doing the work can often mean looking at the actual triggers, including what can you learn from them and what patterns are occurring time and time again, even when in different situations and yet you have responded in a similar way.
So how can a lack of self love affect business owners? Many people fear that they can’t effectively lead their team and come from a place of vulnerability. And yet this is the essence of being an authentic leader.
Do you find yourself avoiding particular sets of circumstances? Are you having a negative response around sales and putting yourself out there as an expert in your field?? If you are not comfortable doing the small things, you are not going to be comfortable doing the big things when you grow.
Where is a good place to start if you think you need some help? We find journaling is a great place to start. When you have had one of those moments and it has really triggered a reaction, ask yourself the questions, what is going on for me there? What is it that made me feel that way? What was the trigger for me, when else have I felt this way? This is a valuable way to come across a pattern of behaviours to work on.
Having a good community around you of like-minded people and or a good coach or councillor can be very helpful. It is also important to not always “be in your head”. Do some yoga, walking, exercise, something creative that takes you into a different side of your brain.
If this message is resonating with you then please listen to the podcast or watch the video and if you would like to get in touch with Karyn you can find her on Facebook.com/karyn.battersby. She has an online coaching group and program and offers 1 on 1 coaching.
And if you would like to check out Melissa, follow these links:
https://melissajscott.com/
https://www.connectionmarketing.online
https://divinecreative.com.au
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